A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday.
Like many women my age, I am 28 years old.
People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
There is still no cure for the common birthday.
Birthdays are nature's way of telling us to eat more cake.
Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang, 'Happy Birthday.'
The return of my birthday, if I remember it, fills me with thoughts which it seems to be the general care of humanity to escape.
Father Larry Lorenzoni
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.
Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.
The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.